husband drunk when i went into labor husband drunk when i went into labor

He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. His response was, OOPS! We called to tell him to come immediately. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! . Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. I was in labour for almost 24 hours with my first, and my hubbys mom brought him in a HUGE meal because she was worried hed be hungry while I enjoyed a meal of ice chips. Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. Miscarriage @ 6w3d in December 2009. http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/heysupnatalie/?action=view. Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. Now this of course makes us, the people theyve invited over for a BBQ, a little uncomfortable. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. "She went into labour.": she started giving birth (generally means her waters broke or she otherwise started experiencing labour pains) we're focusing on the moment the labour started (moment in time, not duration) "She was in labour for 3 hours.": we're focusing on the length of the labour (duration, not moment in time) (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). Then, after I finally pushed my baby out (an hour and a half of pushing), he complained about being exhausted. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. You don't want him to not be able to function when the baby needs to be cared for during the night. He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. Little do they know. This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. Hopefully not, so perhaps you can work that angle to get him to realize that he has to drive you to the hospital. I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. And yeahshe figured it out and got him out quickly after that, but he was deeply bruised and as a result had terrible jaundice, needing bili blankets through the fifth day and had muscular trauma in his neck that he needed therapy to correct for two years afterward. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. Yeah. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. I don't know if this has impacted on the way I hold my emotions, but I tend to really bottle everything up until it all becomes too much - even then though it's VERY difficult to communicate any angst or anything that's bothering me. Oh, yeah, I am sure he will slow it down. Be an advocate. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. Tell him your concerns rationally and lovingly, and if he doesn't listen you have your answer as to the best course of action for you and your child on the day of labor and beyond. 5 drinks a night sounds like a problem bigger than just worrying about having a sober ride to the hospital. To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. Be there to offer encouragement for labor and delivery. My hubby is a talker, too. I walked up and down the stairs a few times to see if it was real labor. Having. With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. I write about that struggle & stuff. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). If you are having symptoms of preterm labor, call your healthcare provider right away. In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. You willingly married and created a child with an annoying drunk and yethe's the stupid one. Are you kidding me? One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. And often I wonder if this is healthy. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. 10000% this. I asked him to rub my aching back and he refused. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. I'm all about unwinding with some drinks and depends on if its hard drinks or just 5 beers. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. He only ever left my side to grab a bite once in the cafe. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Baby. He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. Posted 6/9/10. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. What else am I supposed to do?-Tina, In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadnt eaten in 48 hours. Now, I love Firefly, but I will forever associate Captain Malcolm Reynolds saying I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you with the start of the worst pain of my life. I was scared. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! It was one of the biggest events in . Around 2am, I heard the scraping of a badly manoeuvred BBQ onto the deck and felt my husband flop down beside me into the bed. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. It scream youth and ignorance. Money was scarce. These are all hilarious and I feel lucky that I do not have a funny story to write. My hero. He didnt answer, because he was ASLEEP since hed been working so hard. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. of the issue and will look for a solution. I don't know what kind of birth you're planning, but the Bradley books (Husband-Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, IIRC) are very insistent on how important it is that the husband be there to support, etc. It's not good. It might have been when he was relaying the story about how tired he was and how the day seemed to drag on forever. It helps release oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes your uterus to contract. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. The nurse ran out of room because she couldnt handle it. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. 1. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! At 7 am, doctor broke my water. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . (I don't think he would like that job much!). My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. If he won't deal with that, you should. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. He never slept even when I did (due to pain meds, epidural didnt work) for 27 hours. Ask the medical staff questions. Madeline Harding. Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. I dont thnk so, Omgi cant stop laughing at the thong.Im in tears here I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. For many women, pregnancy can be a stressful time. Seriously, OP, the issues surrounding labour should be amongst the least of your concerns here. AND, it is your child too, not just his. Jackass. The following is an exclusive excerpt of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival, a new memoir by Kelly Sundberg (available June 5). It was his decision. My dad went out for tacos! The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! It is also important to seek professional marriage counseling if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. I had our birth center bag ready. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street. But still no medal. Mortifying. He ran away because he said he had business at work he had to attend to. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. It concerned me, I spoke to him about it, and he stopped. . She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. Carol, Id love to know what you did to him between baby 3 and baby 4! This is not going to change after the baby is born, he has made that clear. He still occasionally takes a beer, glass of wine or a rye down to the office when he's doing paperwork, but occasionally is the key word here. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. One 2013 study, found that even . So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. Yay, transition! )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. Lydia Swortzel, 36, went into labor at 21 weeks with identical twins after seven years of infertility. As soon as they moved me into the rooms near the nursery, he went home because he was tired and me being in labor kept him up all night. It's your body's way of protecting your baby . Heres the thing. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. "With . Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. He did later apologize. since the 4th month. Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. husband drunk when i went into labor. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. With our second things went pretty well. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. Im in labor! What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? My mom didnt kill him, just in case you wondered. This behavior will shorten his lifespan, increase his odds of developing certain types of cancers, raise his weight, sap his energy, and generally make things miserable. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! I had trauma to the right side of my abdomen and hip area, have muscle spasms in the regular to this day, five years later, and my incision looks crazy. The 25-year-old Los Angeles Rams wide receiver and his wife, Samaria Jefferson, welcomed their second baby together on Sunday evening, when Samaria went into labor during the Super Bowl, which Van . Pet Behavior. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. So, I felt it and tried to ignore it. Okay I did not go through labor we adopted our son but the night they called to say the birthmom was in labor I was at church while my husband was at home. Yeah right. In the absence of a specific policy that the employee has agreed to abide by . Iowa City Press-Citizen via USA TODAY Network. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? And the idea that being in labor will sober up a buzzed husband is absurd, it may make him seem sober but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he'd blow over the limit (or really close to it) on a breathalyzer test--that's a great way to get to L&D, in a police cruiser while your husband goes to the drunk tank. When the July 14, 2012 due date of Gainesville, Florida resident Melissa Hoh came and went, her husband's friends told him about a news story they'd read in 2006 about three women going into labor . When I was in labor with my second, I waited at home until I couldnt stand it anymore because I didnt want to be in the hospital for hours in labor like I was with my first. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. Two days later, he picked us up from the hospital and wanted me to make eggplant parmesan from scratch cause we had a new oven. April 2011. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. So, he took a nap. The ban has since been lifted: Following an outcry from expectant parents, medical professionals, and doulas, Governor Cuomo signed an executive order on March 28 requiring all New York hospitals to allow one person to accompany someone who is pregnant through labor and delivery. I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for four, and he has a drinking problem.We met in our early 20s and started our relationship long-distance.I relocated to the UK and we moved in . Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! Get real, people. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. By. Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. So, they may play the trick on you. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. Thats when I had to rouse him. Time. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! Nesting. She gives me her phone number . My partner and I have not fought at all during our relationship, nor has he given me cause to rage. Frankly this scares me. This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. 1. Sure having a bonfire or watching a big game with the buddies and having that many once and a while is no big deal, but being unable, or unwilling, to stop drinking heavily on a regular basis should be a huge red flag. When I insisted that it in fact had broken, he asked me if i was sure, and how did i know. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. That's awesome! I feel your pain! After being in labor all day and delivering at 9:00 at night we got almost no sleep. He complained he was sick and went to the ER. Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. Stand with them and help them overcome it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. -Jennifer, We were out to a movie when my contractions started. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. This is a very common issue, btw . When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. Into the car it went. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. My lovely ex husband was irritated that I was deciding to have the child on overtime hours and he After 36 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, my husband had to help the nurses suction our daughter out of me. Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. 5. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances.